Tuesday, September 2, 2014

Old age .... can't believe you got there, eh?


HAVE YOU EVER BEEN GUILTY OF LOOKING AT OTHERS YOUR OWN AGE AND THINKING, SURELY I CAN 'T LOOK THAT OLD.

WELL . . YOU 'LL LOVE THIS ONE.

MY NAME IS ALICE , AND I WAS SITTING IN THE WAITING ROOM FOR MY FIRST APPOINTMENT WITH A NEW DENTIST.
I NOTICED HIS DDS DIPLOMA ON THE WALL, WHICH BORE HIS FULL NAME.
SUDDENLY, I REMEMBERED A TALL, HANDSOME, DARK-HAIRED BOY WITH THE SAME NAME HAD BEEN IN MY HIGH SCHOOL CLASS SOME 40-ODD YEARS AGO.
COULD HE BE THE SAME GUY THAT I HAD A SECRET CRUSH ON, WAY BACK THEN?
UPON SEEING HIM, HOWEVER, I QUICKLY DISCARDED ANY SUCH THOUGHT.
THIS BALDING, GRAY-HAIRED MAN WITH THE DEEPLY LINED FACE WAS WAY TOO OLD TO HAVE BEEN MY CLASSMATE.

AFTER HE EXAMINED MY TEETH, I ASKED HIM IF HE HAD ATTENDED MORGAN PARK HIGH SCHOOL ..
'YES. YES, I DID. I 'M A MUSTANG, ' HE GLEAMED WITH PRIDE.
WHEN DID YOU GRADUATE? ' I ASKED.
HE ANSWERED, 'IN 1967.. WHY DO YOU ASK? '
YOU WERE IN MY CLASS! ', I EXCLAIMED.
HE LOOKED AT ME CLOSELY.

THEN, THAT UGLY,
OLD,
BALD,
WRINKLED FACED,
FAT-ASSED,
GRAY-HAIRED,
DECREPIT
SON-OF-A-BITCH
ASKED ME

'WHAT DID YOU TEACH???'

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