Wednesday, December 12, 2012

Comedy: Don't Invite Mr.Bean to your wedding

Proverbs and Phrases ...... 14

Variety is the spice of life

Virtue is its own reward

Walls have ears

Walnuts and pears you plant for your heirs

Waste not want not

What can't be cured must be endured

What goes up must come down

What you lose on the swings you gain on the roundabouts

What's sauce for the goose is sauce for the gander

When in Rome, do as the Romans do

When the cat's away the mice will play

When the going gets tough, the tough get going

When the oak is before the ash, then you will only get a splash; when the ash is before the oak, then you may expect a soak

What the eye doesn't see, the heart doesn't grieve over

Where there's a will there's a way

Where there's muck there's brass

While there's life there's hope

Whom the Gods love die young

Why keep a dog and bark yourself?

Women and children first

Wonders will never cease

Work expands so as to fill the time available

Worrying never did anyone any good

You are never too old to learn

You are what you eat

You can have too much of a good thing

You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink

You can't have your cake and eat it

You can't get blood out of a stone

You can't make a silk purse from a sow's ear

You can't make an omelette without breaking eggs

You can't make bricks without straw

You can't run with the hare and hunt with the hounds

You can't teach an old dog new tricks

You can't tell a book by looking at its cover

You can't win them all

You catch more flies with honey than with vinegar

You pays your money and you takes your choice

Youth is wasted on the young

Soundtrack: James Bond 007

Proverbs and Phrases .... 14

To err is human; to forgive divine

To every thing there is a season

To the victor go the spoils

To travel hopefully is a better thing than to arrive

Tomorrow is another day

Tomorrow never comes

Too many cooks spoil the broth

Truth is stranger than fiction

Truth will out

Two blacks don't make a white

Two heads are better than one

Two is company, but three's a crowd

Two wrongs don't make a right

Cartoon: Pedophile at the TSA


Proverbs and Phrases ..... 13

Take care of the pence and the pounds will take care of themselves

Talk is cheap

Talk of the Devil, and he is bound to appear

Tell the truth and shame the Devil

That which does not kill us makes us stronger

The age of miracles is past

The apple never falls far from the tree

The best defence is a good offence

The best-laid schemes of mice and men gang aft agley

The best things in life are free

The bigger they are, the harder they fall

The bottom line is the bottom line

The boy is father to the man

The bread always falls buttered side down

The child is the father of the man

The cobbler always wears the worst shoes

The course of true love never did run smooth

The customer is always right

The darkest hour is just before the dawn

The devil finds work for idle hands to do

The devil looks after his own

The early bird catches the worm

The end justifies the means

The exception which proves the rule

The female of the species is more deadly than the male

The fruit does not fall far from the tree

The good die young

The grass is always greener on the other side of the fence

The hand that rocks the cradle rules the world

The husband is always the last to know

The labourer is worthy of his hire

The leopard does not change his spots

The longest journey starts with a single step

The more the merrier

The more things change, the more they stay the same

The only good Indian is a dead Indian

The opera ain't over till the fat lady sings

The pen is mightier than sword

The price of liberty is eternal vigilance

The proof of the pudding is in the eating

The road to hell is paved with good intentions

The shoemaker's son always goes barefoot

The squeaking wheel gets the grease

The truth will out

The way to a man's heart is through his stomach

There are more ways of killing a cat than choking it with cream

There are none so blind as those, that will not see

There are two sides to every question

There but for the grace of God, go I

There's a time and a place for everything

There's an exception to every rule

There's always more fish in the sea

There's honour among thieves

There's many a good tune played on an old fiddle

There's many a slip 'twixt cup and lip

There's more than one way to skin a cat

There's no accounting for tastes

There's no fool like an old fool

There's no place like home

There's no smoke without fire

There's no such thing as a free lunch

There's no such thing as bad publicity

There's no time like the present

There's none so blind as those who will not see

There's none so deaf as those who will not hear

There's nowt so queer as folk

There's one born every minute

There's safety in numbers

They that sow the wind, shall reap the whirlwind

Third time lucky

Those who do not learn from history are doomed to repeat it

Those who live in glass houses shouldn't throw stones

Those who sleep with dogs will rise with fleas

Time and tide wait for no man

Time flies

Time is a great healer

Time is money

Time will tell

'tis better to have loved and lost, than never to have loved at all


Pic: What's more sexy, inside or outside ?


Joke: Obama and Gun Control

Barack Obama at a recent rural elementary school assembly in East Texas, asked the audience for total quiet.

Then, in the silence, he started to slowly clap his hands once every few seconds, holding the audience in total silence.

Then he said into the microphone, 'Children, every time I clap my hands together, child in America dies from gun violence.'

Then, little Richard Earl, with a proud East Texas drawl,pierced the quiet and said:

''Well, dumbass, stop clapping"
.........

Kid has not been taught the fine art of Political Correctness.   Off to the gulag with him and his parents !!!

Cartoon: The Usual Suspects of victimhood


Proverbs and Phrases ... 11

See a pin and pick it up, all the day you'll have good luck; see a pin and let it lie, bad luck you'll have all day

See no evil, hear no evil, speak no evil

Seeing is believing

Seek and ye shall find

Set a thief to catch a thief

Share and share alike

Shrouds have no pockets

Silence is golden

Slow but sure

Softly, softly, catchee monkey

Spare the rod and spoil the child

Speak as you find

Speak softly and carry a big stick

Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me

Still waters run deep

Strike while the iron is hot

Stupid is as stupid does

Success has many fathers, while failure is an orphan

Cartoon; Nuclear Minarets and Missiles


Joke: Government Jobs

John goes to his city's Municipality to apply for a job.

The interviewer asks him, "Are you allergic to anything?"

He replies, "Yes - coffee."

"Have you ever been in the military service?

"Yes," he says, "I was in Iraq for two years."

The interviewer says,"That will give you 5 extra points towards employment." Then he asks,"Are you disabled in any way?"

John says,"Yes. A bomb exploded near me and I lost both of my testicles."

The interviewer grimaces and then says, "O.K. You've got enough points for me to hire you right now. Our normal hours are from 8:00 A.M. To 4:00 P.M. You can start tomorrow from 10:00 AM every day."

John is puzzled and asks, "If the work hours are from 8:00 A.M. to 4:00 P.M., why do you want me to start here from10:00 A.M.?"

"This is a government job," the interviewer says, "For the first two hours, we just stand around drinking coffee and scratching our balls. No point you coming in for that."

Cartoon: Wikileaks Leaked Christmas list

Joke: Barber and the "community service" haircuts

One day a florist went to a barber for a haircut. After the cut, he asked about his bill, and the barber replied, 'I cannot accept money from you, I'm doing community service this week.' The florist was pleased and left the shop. When the barber went to open his shop the next morning, there was a 'thank you' card and a dozen roses waiting for him at his door.

Later, a cop comes in for a haircut, and when he tries to pay his bill, the barber again replied, 'I cannot accept money from you , I'm doing community service this week.' The cop was happy and left the shop. The next morning when the barber went to open up, there was a 'thank you' card and a dozen donuts waiting for him at his door.

Then a Member of Parliament came in for a haircut, and when he went to pay his bill, the barber again replied, 'I can not accept money from you. I'm doing community service this week.' The Member of Parliament was very happy and left the shop. The next morning, when the barber went to open up, there were a dozen other Members of Parliament lined up waiting for a free haircut.

And that, my friends, illustrates the fundamental difference between the citizens of our country and the politicians who run it.


BOTH POLITICIANS AND DIAPERS
NEED TO BE CHANGED OFTEN
AND
FOR THE SAME REASON!

Cartoons: Difference between the sexes

Countries with the most number of billionaires

Fun Pics: Wall Decor for the Modern Woman