Over five thousand years ago, Moses said to the children of Israel , "Pick up your shovels, mount your asses and camels, and I will lead you to the Promised Land." 
Nearly 75 years ago, (when Welfare was introduced) Roosevelt said, "Lay down  your shovels, sit on your asses, and light up a Camel, this is the Promised Land." 
Today, Obama has stolen your shovel, taxed your asses, raised the price of  camels and mortgaged the Promised Land! 
I was so depressed last night thinking about Health Care Plans, the economy,  the wars, lost jobs, savings, Social Security, retirement funds, etc . . . I called a Suicide Hotline. I had to press 1 for English. 
I was connected to a call center in Pakistan . I told them I was suicidal. 
They got excited and asked if I could drive a truck......
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I like all the jokes you post but this one really made me chuckle. (is "chuckle" too British?)
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