Joke: Drunk Jumper

Peter is relaxing after work one day in a bar on the top floor of a New York skyscraper. While he’s sipping his drink, another man approaches him. He looks like an average guy; suit, tie, glasses, and he’s pretty drunk.

“Hey,” says the guy. “I’ll give you fifty dollars to jump out that window and jump back in.” The man points to an open window not far off.

Peter looks at the man like he’s crazy. “No thanks, I think I’ll just sit and enjoy my drink.” The man shrugs and wanders off.

About 30 minutes later, the man returns. Now he’s even more drunk; his tie has been loosened, his hat is gone, and he’s starting to slur. “Hey,” he says. “I’ll give you…five hunnert dollars to jump out that window and jump back in.”

Now Peter is getting irritated. “No, please leave me alone.” The man shrugs and wanders off again.

Twenty minutes later, the man returns yet again. Now he’s REALLY drunk; his glasses are broken, there’s a burn hole in his suit, and he’s wearing his tie around his head. “Hey, I’ll giff you five…hic…..THOUSAND dollerz to jub’ out ‘at window…..and jum’ baggin.”

Now Peter is mad, and just wants to get rid of this drunkard. “Tell you what,” he says. “You do it first and I’ll do it for free.”

The drunk man thinks for a second, and then stumbles over to the window, jumps out and jumps back in. Shocked, Peter thinks to himself, “If this drunk asshole can do it, surely I can.” So Peter walks over to the window, takes a deep breath, and jumps out the window. He quickly falls to his death.

The drunk man is standing by the bar, chuckling to himself.

The bartender looks at him and says “You sure are a dick when you’re drunk, Superman"