Two visitors from Italy touring the USA get onto a bus in New York.
They sit down & engage in an
animated conversation.
The lady sitting next to them ignores them at first, but
her attention is galvanized when she hears one of them say the
following:
"Emma cums first.
Den I cum.
Den two asses cum
together.
I cum once-a-more!
2 asses, they cum 2gether again.
I cum
again and pee twice.
Then I cum one lasta time."
The lady can't
take this any more and shouts "You foul-mouthed sex-obsessed maniacs, in this
country we don't speak aloud in public places about our sex lives however
extraordinary they might be."
"Hey, coola down lady,' said the man. "Who
talkin' about sex?
I'm a justa tellin' my frienda how to spell
Mississippi."
Showing posts with label sex. Show all posts
Showing posts with label sex. Show all posts
Saturday, July 7, 2012
Thursday, May 3, 2012
Joke: The Adventures of a Wedding Ring
A man went to the hospital Emergency Room to have his wedding ring cut off from his penis.
According to the nurse attending, the patient and his girlfriend had a few drinks and then sex. Afterwards, she found the wedding ring in his pants pocket and she got so mad at him, she used petroleum jelly to slip the ring onto his penis while he was asleep.
I don't know what's worse:
1. Having your girlfriend find out you're married.
2. Explaining to your wife how your wedding ring got onto your penis.
3. Or finding out your penis fits through your wedding ring.
According to the nurse attending, the patient and his girlfriend had a few drinks and then sex. Afterwards, she found the wedding ring in his pants pocket and she got so mad at him, she used petroleum jelly to slip the ring onto his penis while he was asleep.
I don't know what's worse:
1. Having your girlfriend find out you're married.
2. Explaining to your wife how your wedding ring got onto your penis.
3. Or finding out your penis fits through your wedding ring.
Sunday, April 1, 2012
Joke: Statues and Sex (of a kind anyway)
There are two statues in a park; One of a nude man and one of a nude woman. They had been facing each other across a pathway for a hundred years, when one day an angel comes down from the sky and, with a single gesture, brings the two to life!!!!!!!!
The angel tells them, 'As a reward for being so patient through a hundred blazing summers and dismal winters, you have been given life for thirty minutes to do what you've wished to do the most.'
He looks at her, she looks at him, and they go running behind the shrubbery.
The angel waits patiently as the bushes rustle and giggling ensues.
After fifteen minutes, the two return, out of breath and laughing. The angel tells them, 'Um, you have fifteen minutes left, would you care to do it again?'
He asks her 'Shall we?'
She eagerly replies, 'Oh, yes, let's! But let's change positions . . . this time, I'll hold the pigeon down and you shit on its head.'
The angel tells them, 'As a reward for being so patient through a hundred blazing summers and dismal winters, you have been given life for thirty minutes to do what you've wished to do the most.'
He looks at her, she looks at him, and they go running behind the shrubbery.
The angel waits patiently as the bushes rustle and giggling ensues.
After fifteen minutes, the two return, out of breath and laughing. The angel tells them, 'Um, you have fifteen minutes left, would you care to do it again?'
He asks her 'Shall we?'
She eagerly replies, 'Oh, yes, let's! But let's change positions . . . this time, I'll hold the pigeon down and you shit on its head.'
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