Saturday, March 22, 2014

Fox News just can't make up its mind



Riddles .......... part 1

Answers at bottom of page.


1. Tom's mom had three children. The first was named May, the second was June. What was the third childs name?


2. The manufacturer doesn't want to use it, the buyer doesn't need to use it  and the user doesn't know he's using it. What is it?


3. The word CANDY can be spelled using just 2 letters. Can you figure out how?


4. Bill bets Craig $100 that he can predict the score of the hockey game  before it starts. Craig agrees, but loses the bet. Why did Craig lose the bet?



Answers:

Bryan Berg's cardstacking structures

Bryan Berg is a professional "cardstacker" who builds houses of cards on a very large scale.
Trained as an architect, Bryan Berg is the only known person to make a living building structures with freestanding playing cards. He uses no tape, glue, or tricks; and his method has been tested to support 660 pounds per square foot.
Berg has stacked cards for corporate special events, public relations campaigns, and science and children's museums in many U.S. cities, Canada , Europe, and Asia . Berg's clients have included Walt Disney World, a Lexus commercial, Procter & Gamble, American major league baseball and hockey, and the San Francisco Opera, among others. He also participated in a music video by The Bravery, playing a lonely man who builds a fantasy world out of cards.
In 2004, Guinness created a record category for World's Largest House of Freestanding Playing Cards to recognize a project Berg built for Walt Disney World, a replica of Cinderalla's Castle. (6th photo down)
In 2010, the record was renewed by himself using 4051 sets of cards, over 218,000 cards, and built in 44 days, a replica of the Venetian Macao.

Amazing stuff!




Wisdom and humor from the rich and famous? Hah!

Sometimes, when I look at my children, I say to myself,'Lillian, you should have remained a virgin..'
Lillian Carter (mother of Jimmy Carter)
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I had a rose named after me and I was very flattered. But I was not pleased to read the description in the catalogue: - 'No good in a bed, but fine against a wall.'
- Eleanor Roosevelt
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Last week, I stated this woman was the ugliest woman I had ever seen. I have since been visited by her sister, and now wish to withdraw that statement..
- Mark Twain
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The secret of a good sermon is to have a good beginning and a good ending; and to have the two as close together as possible
- George Burns
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Santa Claus has the right idea. Visit people only once a year.
- Victor Borge
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Be careful about reading health books. You may die of a misprint.
- Mark Twain
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By all means, marry. If you get a good wife, you'll become happy; if you get a bad one, you'll become a philosopher.
- Socrates
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I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury.
- Groucho Marx
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My wife has a slight impediment in her speech. Every now and then she stops to breathe.
- Jimmy Durante
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I have never hated a man enough to give his diamonds back.
- Zsa Zsa Gabor
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Only Irish coffee provides in a single glass all four essential food groups: alcohol, caffeine, sugar and fat.
- Alex Levine
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My luck is so bad that if I bought a cemetery, people would stop dying.
- Rodney Dangerfield
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Money can't buy you happiness .... But it does bring you a more pleasant form of misery.
- Spike Milligan
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Until I was thirteen, I thought my name was SHUT UP .
- Joe Namath
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I don't feel old. I don't feel anything until noon. Then it's time for my nap.
- Bob Hope
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I never drink water because of the disgusting things that fish do in it..
- W. C. Fields
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We could certainly slow the aging process down if it had to work its way through Congress.
- Will Rogers
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Don't worry about avoiding temptation. As you grow older, it will avoid you.
- Winston Churchill
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Maybe it's true that life begins at fifty .. But everything else starts to wear out, fall out, or spread out..
- Phyllis Diller
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By the time a man is wise enough to watch his step, he's too old to go anywhere.
- Billy Crystal
And the cardiologist's diet: If it tastes good spit it out.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
May your troubles be less, may your blessings be more, and
may nothing but happiness come through your door
.

Obama's one way trip to Africa

How one can tell when someone is a murderer or not

A first degree murder case was wrapping up in San Francisco.  The prosecutor's case was very unusual in that it was based exclusively on circumstantial evidence.  The husband was accused of killing his wife, but they could never find the body. 

The prosecutor gave his closing argument and demanded that the jury of 13 adults render a verdict of guilty of murder in the first degree.
But the defense counsel had something up his sleeve.  As he addressed the jury he said something most provocative:

"Ladies and gentlemen, this case, so built around circumstantial evidence is really about the concept of reasonable doubt.  Because, you see, as you will soon find out, the victim in this case, Mrs. Dribble, is going to walk through that door in 10 minutes and you will know Mr. Dribble is innocent."

A hush settled over the crowded courtroom as the attorney continued to speak with everyone's eyes constantly glancing toward the door between the jury and the audience.  As time passed toward the 10-minute deadline, people began to shuffle in their chairs and wipe their brows.  But the attorney continued to speak until it was past the 10 minutes.  But, Mrs. Dribble, the alleged victim, did not enter as he promised.

He continued:  "You see, members of the jury, you must have reasonable doubt or you would not have been looking repeatedly at the door.  Your own sense of doubt made you have an expectation of innocence. You must find my client not guilty of the charge of first degree murder."  With that, he closed and thanked the panel.  

The judge gave the jury their instructions and the bailiff led them to the jury room to deliberate on the guilt or innocence of Mr. Dribble.  It took them only 10 minutes and they indicated they had a verdict.

The defense was very sure they would be returning a "not guilty" verdict and he could barely contain his sense of self-assuredness.  He smiled at his client with a warmth that exuded comfort and success.
The jury foreman was asked to return the verdict form to the court's bailiff to be read out loud:

"We the jury find the defendant, Gunther Dribble, guilty of the crime of murder in the first degree."

The defense attorney was devastated and demanded to poll every juror.  But, as he started with the jury foreman, he did not have to go very far.  "Mr. foreman, you, yourself, had your eyes constantly moving toward the door.  You must have had reasonable doubt."

The jury foreman smiled cattily at the defense attorney:  "Yes. That's true, counsel", he responded."but what we noticed also was that your client was the only person in the entire courtroom who never looked at the door."

Actually, I like Muslims and their religion, EXCEPT for ....




Quotes about idiots in government

"A top geneticist at Stanford says human intelligence is declining. You know what that means? We are seeing Congress at its smartest and most effective right now." –Jay Leno

...............

"President Obama gave his State of the Union speech and went through a laundry list of things, most of them very centrist -- like he said he wanted universal preschool. He said he got the idea from trying to work with the Republicans in Congress the last few years." –Bill Maher

God must have been in a good mood when he designed these ... part 2








                             

                                                                                       




                                                                   











British HAHAHAHA


A big earthquake with the strength of 8.1 on the Richter scale hit the Middle East .
Two million Muslims died  And over a million were injured.. 
 
Iraq and Iran are totally ruined,

The governments don't know where To start with providing help to rebuild. 

The rest of the world is in shock.
 
The USA is sending troops to help. 
 
Saudi Arabia is sending oil. 
 
Latin American countries are sending Supplies.
 
New Zealand is sending sheep, cattle and food crops. 
 
The Asian continents are sending labour to assist in rebuilding the Infrastructure. 
 
Canada is sending medical teams and supplies. 
 
GREAT BRITAIN , not to be outdone.....
Is sending two million replacement Muslims. 
Damn those Brits are smart !! 

God must have been in a good mood when he designed these .... part 1