Nuns on barstools

Sisters Mary Catherine, Maria  Theresa, Katherine Marie, Rose Frances &  Mary Kathleen went on a trip to St.  Patrick's Cathedral in New York City.
They were  sight-seeing and the day was  hot  and humid, especially in their  traditional garb.  The heat and humidity made the sisters very thirsty.

The saw  Patty McGuire's Pub nearby and went in for a nice long icy Cokes.

Patty had recently added  special legs to his barstools, which were the  talk of the fashionable eastside neighborhood.  All five nuns went up to the bar and sat on the stools.

They were  enjoying their Cokes when Monsignor Riley and Father  McGinty entered the bar through the front  door with the same intention of sipping on a nice cold drink.

They entered the pub, saw the nuns and almost had heart-attacks.

Getting married in Heaven poses a big problem

On their way to get married, a young Catholic couple was involved in a fatal car accident.
The couple found themselves sitting outside the Pearly Gates waiting for St. Peter to process them into Heaven.
While waiting they began to wonder; could they possibly get married in  Heaven?

When St. Peter arrived, they asked him if they could get married in  Heaven.
St. Peter said, "I don't know. This is the first time anyone has asked. Let me go find out," and he left.

The couple sat and waited for an answer... for a couple of months.
While they waited, they discussed the pros and cons. If they were allowed to get married in Heaven, should they get married, what with  the eternal aspect of it all? "What if it doesn't work? Are we stuck in Heaven together forever?"

Yet another month passed before St. Peter finally returned, looking somewhat bedraggled.
 "Yes," he informed the couple, "You can get married in Heaven."
"Great!" said the couple. "But we were just wondering; what if things don't work out? Could we also get a divorce in Heaven?"
St. Peter, red-faced with anger, slammed his clipboard on the ground.

 "What's wrong?" asked the frightened couple.
 "OH, COME ON!" St. Peter shouted. "It took me 3 months to find a priest up here!

 Do you have ANY idea how long it'll take to find a lawyer?!

Joke: The drunk Irish priest

An Irish priest is driving down to New York and gets stopped for speeding in Connecticut . The state trooper smells alcohol on the priest's breath and then sees an empty wine bottle on the floor of the car.

He says, 'Sir, have you been drinking?'

'Just water,' says the priest.

The trooper says, 'Then why do I smell wine?'

The priest looks at the bottle and says, 'Good Lord! He's done it again!'