If life were fair, Elvis would still be alive today and all the impersonators would be dead.
~ Johnny Carson
~ Johnny Carson
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I don't believe in astrology. I am a Sagittarius and we're very skeptical.
~ Arthur C. Clarke
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Hollywood must be the only place on earth where you can be fired by a man wearing a Hawaiian shirt and a baseball cap.
~ Steve Martin
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Home cooking. Where many a man thinks his wife is.
~ Jimmy Durante
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As I hurtled through space, one thought kept crossing my mind - every part of this rocket was supplied by the lowest bidder.
~ John Glenn
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If toast always lands butter-side down and cats always land on their feet, what happens if you strap toast on the back of a cat?
~ Steven Wright
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