and
Wooden gagster House, Russia
Tuesday, February 21, 2012
Joke: The drunk Irish priest
An Irish priest is driving down to New York and gets stopped for speeding in Connecticut . The state trooper smells alcohol on the priest's breath and then sees an empty wine bottle on the floor of the car.
He says, 'Sir, have you been drinking?'
'Just water,' says the priest.
The trooper says, 'Then why do I smell wine?'
The priest looks at the bottle and says, 'Good Lord! He's done it again!'
He says, 'Sir, have you been drinking?'
'Just water,' says the priest.
The trooper says, 'Then why do I smell wine?'
The priest looks at the bottle and says, 'Good Lord! He's done it again!'
Jokes: GPS override, Arab and his 18 holes,
Friend #1: Are You Visiting Us Tomorrow? Do You Need Directions?
Friend #2: I'm All Set. I Have The Address, A GPS, And A GPS Override.
Friend #1: What's A GPS Override?
Friend #2: My Wife.
..............................
Chinese : I Have 10 Children. 1 More and I Will Have My Own Football Team.
Arab : I Have 17 Wives, 1 More and I Will Have My Private Golf Course Of 18 Holes.
...................
Friend #2: I'm All Set. I Have The Address, A GPS, And A GPS Override.
Friend #1: What's A GPS Override?
Friend #2: My Wife.
..............................
Chinese : I Have 10 Children. 1 More and I Will Have My Own Football Team.
Arab : I Have 17 Wives, 1 More and I Will Have My Private Golf Course Of 18 Holes.
...................
Quotable quotes : Prince Philip, Duke of Edinburgh .... Part II
These quotes are attributed to Prince Philip long before the disease of "political correctness" descended on Earth and made us all dumb and dull.
"It looks as if it was put in by an Indian." Of a fuse box , whilst on a tour of a factory in Edinburgh, Scotland, in 1999
"Well, you'll never fly in it, you're too fat to be an astronaut" Said at the University of Salford to a 13-year-old aspiring astronaut.
"There's a lot of your family in tonight."Said in November 2009 to a Mr Patel (a common Indian Surname) at a reception for 400 British Indian businessmen.
"You can't have been here that long — you haven't got a pot belly." Said to a Briton in Budapest, Hungary in 1993
"Deaf? If you are near there, no wonder you are deaf." On a visit to the new National Assembly for Wales in Cardiff, said to a group of deaf children standing next to a Jamaican steel drum band,
"Everybody was saying we must have more leisure. Now they are complaining they are unemployed." In 1981, in reference to an economic recession
"A gun is no more dangerous than a cricket bat in the hands of a madman."As quoted in "Deaf insulted by duke's remark" BBC News (27 May 1999
"You have mosquitoes. I have the Press." In a 1966 conversation with the matron of a hospital while on a tour of the Caribbean
"It looks as if it was put in by an Indian." Of a fuse box , whilst on a tour of a factory in Edinburgh, Scotland, in 1999
"Well, you'll never fly in it, you're too fat to be an astronaut" Said at the University of Salford to a 13-year-old aspiring astronaut.
"There's a lot of your family in tonight."Said in November 2009 to a Mr Patel (a common Indian Surname) at a reception for 400 British Indian businessmen.
"You can't have been here that long — you haven't got a pot belly." Said to a Briton in Budapest, Hungary in 1993
"Deaf? If you are near there, no wonder you are deaf." On a visit to the new National Assembly for Wales in Cardiff, said to a group of deaf children standing next to a Jamaican steel drum band,
"Everybody was saying we must have more leisure. Now they are complaining they are unemployed." In 1981, in reference to an economic recession
"A gun is no more dangerous than a cricket bat in the hands of a madman."As quoted in "Deaf insulted by duke's remark" BBC News (27 May 1999
"You have mosquitoes. I have the Press." In a 1966 conversation with the matron of a hospital while on a tour of the Caribbean
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