The beauty in married life

If you want your spouse to listen and pay strict attention to every word you say -- talk in your sleep.
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Just think, if it weren't for marriage, men would go through life thinking they had no faults at all.

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First guy says, 'My wife's an angel!' Second guy remarks, 'You're lucky, mine's still alive.'

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A Woman's Prayer:
Dear Lord, I pray for: Wisdom, To understand a man , to Love and to forgive him,
and for patience, For his moods. Because Lord, if I pray for Strength I'll just beat him to death'

Pearls of Wisdom .... Part 2/5

The only reason that they say, 'Women and children first' is to test the strength of the lifeboats.
            ~ Jean Kerr

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I've been married to a communist and a fascist, and neither would take out the garbage.
            ~ Zsa Zsa Gabor

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You know you're a redneck if your home has wheels and your car doesn't.
            ~ Jeff Foxworthy

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When a man opens a car door for his wife, it's either a new car or a new wife.
            ~ Prince Philip

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A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kickboxing.
            ~ Emo Philips.

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Wood burns faster when you have to cut and chop it yourself.
            ~ Harrison Ford

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The best cure for sea sickness is to sit under a tree.
            ~ Spike Milligan

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Coffee Time

A man and his wife were having an argument about who should brew the coffee each morning. The wife said, "You should do it, because you get up first, and then we don't have to wait as long to get our coffee."


The husband said, " You are in charge of cooking around here and you should do it, because that is your job, and I can just wait for my coffee..."

Wife replies, "No, you should do it, and besides, it is in the Bible that the man should do the coffee."

Husband replies, "I can't believe that, show me."

So she fetched the Bible, and opened the New Testament and showed him at the top of several pages, that it indeed says.........."HEBREWS"

Oh...those pesky females ... always getting the last word !

A couple drove down a country road for several miles, not saying a word..


An earlier discussion had led to an argument and neither of them wanted to concede their position. As they passed a barnyard of mules, goats, and pigs, the husband asked sarcastically, "Relatives of yours?"

"Yep," the wife replied, "in-laws
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A husband read an article to his wife about how many words women use a day...


30,000 to a man's 15,000.

The wife replied, "The reason has to be because we have to repeat everything to men...

The husband then turned to his wife and asked, "What?"

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A man said to his wife one day, "I don't know how you can be so stupid and so beautiful all at the same time." The wife responded, "Allow me to explain . God made me beautiful so you would be attracted to me;


God made me stupid so I would be attracted to you!"

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