"I am enclosing two tickets to the first night of my new play; bring a friend.... if you have one."
George Bernard Shaw to Winston Churchill
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"Cannot possibly attend first night, will attend second .... if there is one."
Winston Churchill's response
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"I feel so miserable without you; it's almost like having you here."
Stephen Bishop
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"He is a self-made man and worships his creator."
John Bright
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"I've just learned about his illness. Let's hope it's nothing trivial."
Irvin S. Cobb
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"He is not only dull himself; he is the cause of dullness in others."
Samuel Johnson
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"I've had a perfectly wonderful evening. But this wasn't it."
Groucho Marx
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