Little Larry with Mom and Dad .... 2/2

Little Larry attended a horse auction with his father. He watched as his father moved from horse to horse, running his hands up and down the horse's legs and rump, and chest. After a few minutes, Larry asked, 'Dad, why are you doing that?' His father replied, 'Because when I'm buying horses, I have to make sure that they are healthy and in good shape before I buy. Larry, looking worried, said, 'Dad, I think the UPS guy wants to buy Mom ...'

.......

Larry watched, fascinated, as his mother smoothed cold cream on her face. 'Why do you do that, mommy?' he asked. 'To make myself beautiful,' said his mother, who then began removing the cream with a tissue. 'What's the matter, asked Larry 'Giving up?'

Joke: Parents hate smart-ass teachers

Mr. Dickson asked his 4th graders one day if anyone knew how to put 2 holes into 1 hole. Since no one was able to answer the question, he told the kids to go home and ask their fathers.

They came back the next day and still no one knew the answer. “Look,” said Mr. Dickson while holding his index finger against his thumb, forming a little “zero.” “This is one hole, my nose has 2 holes, and Ican put my hand over my nose and make my nose holes appear inside this other hole.”

“Aaaaaaahhhhhh,” said the children.

The next day, Little Johnny stood up and said, “Mr. Dickson, my daddy wants to know if you know how toput 7 holes in 1 hole.”

“Hmmmm,” he thought, “How can you put 7 holes in 1? Well, I'll be darned; I don't know how to do that. Um, did your father tell you how to?”

“Yes,” said Little Johnny, “You take a flute and shove it up your ass!"

Cartoon: Differences ... 1961 and now

Joke: Tormented Parents

The boss wondered why one of his most valued employees was absent but had not phoned in sick. So he dialed the employee's home phone number and was greeted with a child's whisper. 'Hello ? '

'Is your daddy home?' ' Yes, he's out in the garden ,' whispered the small voice. 'May I talk with him?'The child whispered, ' No .' ;

So the boss asked, 'Well, is your Mommy there?' 'Yes, she's out in the garden too '& The boss asked; 'May I talk with her?' Again the small voice whispered, ' No .' Hoping there was somebody with whom he could leave a message, the boss asked, 'Is anybody else there?' ' Yes ,' whispered the child, ' a policeman.. '

Wondering what a cop would be doing at his employee's home, the boss asked, 'May I speak with the policeman?' ' No, he's busy , ' whispered the child. 'Busy doing what?' ' Talking to Daddy and Mommy and the police dog men. ' Growing more worried as he heard a loud noise in the background, the boss asked, 'What is that noise?' ' It's a helicopter ' answered the whispering voice.

'What is going on there?' demanded the boss, now truly apprehensive. ' The search team just landed a helicopter ' 'A search team?' said the boss. 'What are they searching for?'

Still whispering, the young voice replied with a muffled giggle.... ' ME

Cartoon: Then and Now