Starts from 1900
http://www.infoplease.com/year/1900.html
Thursday, September 6, 2012
Joke: The miracle Hair Spray
A man is driving along a highway and sees a rabbit jump out across the middle of the road.
He swerves to avoid hitting it, but unfortunately the rabbit jumps right in front of the car.
The driver, a sensitive man as well as an animal lover, pulls over and gets out to see what has become of the rabbit.
Much to his dismay, the rabbit is dead.
The driver feels so awful that he begins to cry.
A beautiful blonde woman driving down the highway sees a man crying on the side of the road and pulls over.
She steps out of the car and asks the man what's wrong.
"I feel terrible," he explains, "I accidentally hit this rabbit and killed it."
The blonde says, "Don't worry."
She runs to her car and pulls out a spray can.
She walks over to the limp, dead rabbit, bends down, and sprays the contents onto the rabbit.
The rabbit jumps up, waves its paw at the two of them and hops off down the road.
Ten feet away the rabbit stops, turns around and waves again, he hops down the road another 10 feet, turns and waves, hops another ten feet, turns and waves, and repeats this again and again and again, until he hops out of sight.
The man is astonished!
He runs over to the woman and demands, "What is in that can? What did you spray on that rabbit?"
The woman turns the can around so that the man can read the label.
It says...
(Are you ready for this?)
(Are you sure?)
(This is bad!)
(It's definitely a Blonde Joke!)
(You know, you could, just click off now and never read the punch line....)
(You're gonna be sorry)
(Last chance)
(OK, here it is)
It says;
" Hair Spray Restores life to dead hair; adds permanent wave. "
He swerves to avoid hitting it, but unfortunately the rabbit jumps right in front of the car.
The driver, a sensitive man as well as an animal lover, pulls over and gets out to see what has become of the rabbit.
Much to his dismay, the rabbit is dead.
The driver feels so awful that he begins to cry.
A beautiful blonde woman driving down the highway sees a man crying on the side of the road and pulls over.
She steps out of the car and asks the man what's wrong.
"I feel terrible," he explains, "I accidentally hit this rabbit and killed it."
The blonde says, "Don't worry."
She runs to her car and pulls out a spray can.
She walks over to the limp, dead rabbit, bends down, and sprays the contents onto the rabbit.
The rabbit jumps up, waves its paw at the two of them and hops off down the road.
Ten feet away the rabbit stops, turns around and waves again, he hops down the road another 10 feet, turns and waves, hops another ten feet, turns and waves, and repeats this again and again and again, until he hops out of sight.
The man is astonished!
He runs over to the woman and demands, "What is in that can? What did you spray on that rabbit?"
The woman turns the can around so that the man can read the label.
It says...
(Are you ready for this?)
(Are you sure?)
(This is bad!)
(It's definitely a Blonde Joke!)
(You know, you could, just click off now and never read the punch line....)
(You're gonna be sorry)
(Last chance)
(OK, here it is)
It says;
" Hair Spray Restores life to dead hair; adds permanent wave. "
Fun bashing men
Q: What is the difference between men and puppies?
A: Puppies grow up.
*************
Q: Why do men always have a stupid look on their faces?
A: Because they are...
*************
Q: What do men have in common with ceramic tiles?
A: Fix them properly once and you can walk all over them forever.
*************
Q: If you drop a man and a brick out of a plane, which one would hit the ground first?
A: Who cares?????.....
*************
Q: What did God say after he created man?
A: I can do better than this! And then he created woman!!!.
*************
Q: What's the difference between an intelligent man and a UFO ?
A: I don't know, I've never seen either.
*************
Q: What are two reasons why men don't mind their own business?
A: no mind !!) no business !!!??
*************
Q: Why did Moses wander in the desert for 40 years?
A:! Because even back then men wouldn't ask for directions .
*************
Q: What is the difference between men and pigs?
A: Pigs don't turn into men when they drink...
*************
Q: What makes men chase women they have no intention of marrying?
A: The same urge that makes dogs chase vehicles they have no intention of driving.
*************
Q: What do you do with a man who thinks he's God's gift?
A: Exchange him!!
*************
Q: Why do men like smart women?
A: Opposites attract.
*************
A: Puppies grow up.
*************
Q: Why do men always have a stupid look on their faces?
A: Because they are...
*************
Q: What do men have in common with ceramic tiles?
A: Fix them properly once and you can walk all over them forever.
*************
Q: If you drop a man and a brick out of a plane, which one would hit the ground first?
A: Who cares?????.....
*************
Q: What did God say after he created man?
A: I can do better than this! And then he created woman!!!.
*************
Q: What's the difference between an intelligent man and a UFO ?
A: I don't know, I've never seen either.
*************
Q: What are two reasons why men don't mind their own business?
A: no mind !!) no business !!!??
*************
Q: Why did Moses wander in the desert for 40 years?
A:! Because even back then men wouldn't ask for directions .
*************
Q: What is the difference between men and pigs?
A: Pigs don't turn into men when they drink...
*************
Q: What makes men chase women they have no intention of marrying?
A: The same urge that makes dogs chase vehicles they have no intention of driving.
*************
Q: What do you do with a man who thinks he's God's gift?
A: Exchange him!!
*************
Q: Why do men like smart women?
A: Opposites attract.
*************
Proverbs and Phrases ..... 10
Parsley seed goes nine times to the Devil
Patience is a virtue
Pearls of wisdom
Penny wise and pound foolish
People who live in glass houses shouldn't throw stones
Physician, heal thyself
Possession is nine points of the law
Power corrupts; absolute power corrupts absolutely
Practice makes perfect
Practice what you preach
Prevention is better than cure
Pride goes before a fall
Procrastination is the thief of time
Put your best foot forward
Rain before seven, fine before eleven
Red sky at night shepherd's delight; red sky in the morning, shepherd's warning
Revenge is a dish best served cold
Revenge is sweet
Rob Peter to pay Paul
Rome wasn't built in a day
Patience is a virtue
Pearls of wisdom
Penny wise and pound foolish
People who live in glass houses shouldn't throw stones
Physician, heal thyself
Possession is nine points of the law
Power corrupts; absolute power corrupts absolutely
Practice makes perfect
Practice what you preach
Prevention is better than cure
Pride goes before a fall
Procrastination is the thief of time
Put your best foot forward
Rain before seven, fine before eleven
Red sky at night shepherd's delight; red sky in the morning, shepherd's warning
Revenge is a dish best served cold
Revenge is sweet
Rob Peter to pay Paul
Rome wasn't built in a day
Joke: Tolerance is the name of the game
I am truly perplexed that so many of my friends are against a mosque being built at Ground Zero. I think it should be the goal of every American to be tolerant. Thus the Mosque should be allowed, in an effort to promote tolerance.
That is why I also propose that two nightclubs be opened next door to the mosque, thereby promoting tolerance from within the mosque. We could call one of the clubs, which would be gay, " The Turban Cowboy ", and the other a topless bar called " You Mecca Me Hot ."
Next door should be a butcher shop that specializes in pork, and adjacent to that an open-pit barbeque pork restaurant, called " Iraq o' Ribs. "
Across the street there could be a lingerie store called " Victoria Keeps Nothing Secret ", with sexy mannequins in the window modeling the goods.
Next door to the lingerie shop there would be room for an adult sex toy shop, " Koranal Knowledge ", its name in flashing neon lights, and on the other side a liquor store called " Morehammered. "
All of this would encourage the Muslims to demonstrate the tolerance they demand of us, so the mosque problem would be solved. If you agree with promoting tolerance, and you think this is a good plan, please pass it on...
That is why I also propose that two nightclubs be opened next door to the mosque, thereby promoting tolerance from within the mosque. We could call one of the clubs, which would be gay, " The Turban Cowboy ", and the other a topless bar called " You Mecca Me Hot ."
Next door should be a butcher shop that specializes in pork, and adjacent to that an open-pit barbeque pork restaurant, called " Iraq o' Ribs. "
Across the street there could be a lingerie store called " Victoria Keeps Nothing Secret ", with sexy mannequins in the window modeling the goods.
Next door to the lingerie shop there would be room for an adult sex toy shop, " Koranal Knowledge ", its name in flashing neon lights, and on the other side a liquor store called " Morehammered. "
All of this would encourage the Muslims to demonstrate the tolerance they demand of us, so the mosque problem would be solved. If you agree with promoting tolerance, and you think this is a good plan, please pass it on...
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